Things not in your Control
People will talk about things that they are not in control of. But the irony is they seek to control them anyway. And although it is true there are things we can't control in life, there are I think, shades of degrees involved. Human choice: it is the most formidable of human powers. And the most abused.
But one thing I know you have no control over without a shadow of a doubt, is how others feel about you.You can be the kindest most compassionate being and yet you will have haters. You can be the most vilest of creatures and yet you will have admirers. Most people exist between the two extremes and obviously bias drives a lot of our behaviour. But no matter what, if the heart feels a certain way about someone, there isn't much you can do about it. The heart may even change, as it so often does, but even then it's just so beyond human control.
You could be a breath apart and hate; you can be on the other side of the world and love.
So what do we do? People who live with the inherent need to be liked by everyone are seldom happy in life. They take judgments to heart even when they are not at fault and even worse, they keep trying to redeem themselves when they don't need redeeming at all. The opposite is just as much true. People can be bombarded with criticism - constructive criticism even and they will never budge an inch on their stance.
The solution is simple. I have tried doing both. I have tried to be a people pleaser. Probably still am. I have tried to be indifferent but here I was totally unsuccessful because that it someone I'm not. Case in point, a couple of days ago on my way to work while crossing the Korangi Creek Road, I saw a rather elderly old chap who had fallen off from the back seat of a motor bike. (This was the third such incident of the month.) But this man was so old. Thankfully, as the scene faded away from sight, I could just make out that he was dusting himself off and all seemed alright (not so for the other two victims). But this led to a torrent of thoughts flooding my mind: why was he on a bike and not at home with his wife and grandbabies having a hot breakfast? Didn't he have someone in his old age to say to him: you deserve a break in life after all the toil and strife. Sigh. And then I started crying. In fact I can feel a tear coming on right now.
So I realise that I can't be indifferent. Perhaps it comes from a broken heart, from a soul that has so much to give, but very few to give it to. Whatever the reason, I only know that I can't make everyone happy and I won't try to. Instead I will be true to myself and I will do the best I can. And if people have a problem with that then they can do whatever it is they want. I don't care really.
It's electrifyingly freeing. My computer says 'electrifyingly' is not a word. Duly noted. But hell, if it works here, it ought to be and I'll not replace it - I like it.
And that's a wrap.
But one thing I know you have no control over without a shadow of a doubt, is how others feel about you.You can be the kindest most compassionate being and yet you will have haters. You can be the most vilest of creatures and yet you will have admirers. Most people exist between the two extremes and obviously bias drives a lot of our behaviour. But no matter what, if the heart feels a certain way about someone, there isn't much you can do about it. The heart may even change, as it so often does, but even then it's just so beyond human control.
You could be a breath apart and hate; you can be on the other side of the world and love.
So what do we do? People who live with the inherent need to be liked by everyone are seldom happy in life. They take judgments to heart even when they are not at fault and even worse, they keep trying to redeem themselves when they don't need redeeming at all. The opposite is just as much true. People can be bombarded with criticism - constructive criticism even and they will never budge an inch on their stance.
The solution is simple. I have tried doing both. I have tried to be a people pleaser. Probably still am. I have tried to be indifferent but here I was totally unsuccessful because that it someone I'm not. Case in point, a couple of days ago on my way to work while crossing the Korangi Creek Road, I saw a rather elderly old chap who had fallen off from the back seat of a motor bike. (This was the third such incident of the month.) But this man was so old. Thankfully, as the scene faded away from sight, I could just make out that he was dusting himself off and all seemed alright (not so for the other two victims). But this led to a torrent of thoughts flooding my mind: why was he on a bike and not at home with his wife and grandbabies having a hot breakfast? Didn't he have someone in his old age to say to him: you deserve a break in life after all the toil and strife. Sigh. And then I started crying. In fact I can feel a tear coming on right now.
So I realise that I can't be indifferent. Perhaps it comes from a broken heart, from a soul that has so much to give, but very few to give it to. Whatever the reason, I only know that I can't make everyone happy and I won't try to. Instead I will be true to myself and I will do the best I can. And if people have a problem with that then they can do whatever it is they want. I don't care really.
It's electrifyingly freeing. My computer says 'electrifyingly' is not a word. Duly noted. But hell, if it works here, it ought to be and I'll not replace it - I like it.
And that's a wrap.
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