A Dream and a Dream

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Last night I had a dream. The kind that puts you in a stupor. The kind that when you are in it, you live it, breathe it, drown in it. It is both real and surreal. And now I've half forgotten it but the uneasiness remains. The kind of uneasiness that lingers ever so like a dark cloud on an already downcast day. The kind of dream that when you wake up from it, you woe the hour you fell asleep. 

I don't know where it was, or why it was. I know who it was though - my beautiful daughter. My eldest. I don't know what she said, what she wore, what she did, what she was up to. I only remember her smile and her dark hair and I know she was speaking to me. She was saying something with great gusto, with that brimming energy she always seemed to have, with fervour, but most importantly, most definitely, with love. There was love. 

Then why curse the night for sending such a 'gift'? Because it undoes the scars that have taken so long to heal. But the scars are there nonetheless. They are ever-present. And below the scar, the scar tissue has taken permanent residence. The best remedy for such an ailment is to let things be. Let Time gently caress and sooth the lesions. Let the balm of ease that comes after nightmares, let comfort and the love of family and of service to humanity cool the scars. 

A reverie is the farthest thing from a balm there is. A reverie in which my past comes to haunt me scratches and tugs and pulls at the wounds, exposing them. Though it be the most prettiest thing in the world - the face of my daughter - it being the dream just led to a rude awakening. 

And yet my sister says my perspective is faulty. She says it's a good dream. It's an omen for things to come. 

I don't know if it is an omen. A good one. A bad one. A curse. A blessing. 

But I know that if I don't understand, then I can just ask God, in his bountifulness and boundless mercy and infinite wisdom to make it a good one. A dream to make the dream not a dream. 

In the meantime, I should probably snap out of it. 

Another day awaits tomorrow - online teaching, a team to lead, youngsters to mentor, decisions to be made, love to be given.


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