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Showing posts from June, 2015

The Battle That Rages Within Me

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I don't think you would argue that the greatest possible grief in the world is a result of the death of a loved one, more so if that loved one is your child. It is a pain nobody would wish upon his enemy. I am not sure if where I stand is better off or worse, maybe you could tell me (with all due respect to those brave parents who have suffered the loss of a child). I wrote in my previous post (read it here ) that I have made peace with my fate, that I will in all probability never see my kids again who are countries apart from me. There is my tiny baby in the same city which I reside, but even of that, I am not sure. I hope she has now reached her other six siblings where she rightly belongs. I don't know which fate is worse, the death of a child, or to forever lose seven, one of whom I lost before I even had a chance to explore her tiny hands and feet. But the idea of having her taken away after a couple of years by which time she would have bonded with me was a fate I

Confessions; Where I'm Coming From

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It's not easy for me to open up about anything. I've been a very private person all my life. Suffice it to say, it took a lot of contemplating before I actually sat down to write this post. I mean no harm to anybody. My views are my own, and as a human being I could be wrong. I am a firm believer of faith and destiny. All good and bad is from Allah. We can only strive to make choices that we feel are founded in our values and morals. If you lose these essential qualities which is the very fabric of your existence, you will ultimately lose yourself. And so I sit here today, almost seven months since I last saw my children. Whatever happened is in the past, and I have since accepted my fate. With that acceptance came a certain amount of peace. The memories of their faces, smiles, tears and all, will forever be sketched in my heart. The one thing that will haunt me though, is knowing that I was an awesome mother to them and that I can not (regardless of sincere efforts on m