Frustratingly Maddening Things

Some things just drive you insane- just like the speed of my internet right now. Then there is the fact you're gaining weight. Admittedly, you have been lazing around because it's summer break, but hey, there was Summer Camp- a whole three weeks. So why then, when I've been trying to bring joy to kids, am I being punished so? Of course, my sister and sister-in-law (who is over these days) just scoff at my languishing wails of weight gain- shrugging them off with utter disregard to the deep seated frustration.

Speaking of Summer Camp- it's over. But it's not. And this is where the tone is going to get austere. These children from disadvantaged homes are more vibrant, more alive, more real than most children I see on a usual basis. My hearts breaks to pieces when I think about how such talented young individuals don't have the amenities that are granted to other kids who have been dealt a better hand.

But at least they have mothers.


My kids have a mother- me. She's not dead. Obviously, she's typing. She loves her kids. She's not in their lives but she prays for them everyday and keeps their memory close to her beating heart. She's not a narcissist for speaking in the third person. It just happens sometimes, much like when we start writing in the passive voice.

I have a dream for my kids- that they be avid readers, that they write beautiful poetry, that their actions inspire and motivate- not tear down and destroy. But I don't know that they are like that and that is frustrating. I wish they become these really successful beautiful individuals who touch the souls of those they come into contact with- that they hold about them an aura of light and radiate love and hope.

But I don't know that and it is frustrating.

I think my daughter writes well. She was already a keen reader. 'Keen'. She liked that word. I wonder if she uses it now.

But frustration also humbles you. I think a little frustration does one more good than harm- but it is all in the mindset. You see, to curb this affliction, one needs a remedy. That remedy is patience. And that is also frustrating because you don't know if patience is going to get you anywhere. This is turning out to be quite a ramble. But I think the readers who come often enough on this page, sometimes more than 20 times even in one day, can relate.

In the end, frustration is a part of life. One finds distractions, one gives back to the community, one accepts one's fleeting life- one knows one will meet one's maker- and then there shall be no frustration. All accounts will be settled.